Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Post-Performance Depression

No one is immune to feeling sad, it happens, and no one likes it. Avenue Q will be over after this Sunday's matinee and I can't help the feeling of dread and sadness that's welling up inside me.

I think back to where I was last fall and I just don't know what happened. There I was applying to colleges and working. I had to stop by the school to get transcripts and recommendation letters. Every time I was there people would ask me about auditioning for Avenue Q. I just brushed it off at first thinking, they could get some other black person to do it. There are other people in town perfectly capable of doing that role. Why should I always have to play that one black character.

Honestly, I didn't want to do it. 

But when auditions got closer I thought...maybe I need a distraction. I won't be transferring for another eight months almost. What would I do with all that time? Sure i could make videos on my channel or write the nine episodes of Chronicles of the Dead that we need...but I like to stay busy.

I auditioned and got the part. I sang "It's a Privilege to Pee" from Urinetown. I love that song so much because it fits my voice and it's hilarious. 

We went through two Nicky's before finding the perfect one. We rehearsed for months. We helped each other. We got frustrated and super excited. We laughed, we injured ourselves and our voices, but we never stopped believing in our little show. 

Opening night was more than we could have asked for. The audience laughed at stuff that we had forgotten was even funny. We got three standing ovations in a row and local media coverage. Our friends and familes loved us and saw us more than once. 

Soon it will all be a memory. Am I really going to miss this musical that I wasn't even sure I wanted to be part of in the first place? Fuck yeah. But just like the show says, everything in life is only for now.


  1. You were fantastic! I loved the show. I was sad I didn't get to come see it again.

    1. Thanks Lauren! Two months later....haha


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