Monday, May 25, 2015

Reasons to be Happy

I'd be totally lying if I said I haven't been feeling any form of post-grad depression. Yes, I know I made a video talking about how college was ruining my life and how I wished it was over. But now, things are different. I feel as if I spent the last two years crouched on a flotation device in the middle of the ocean, and now it's suddenly popped. I don't know how to swim, so there I am, slowly sinking and unsure if I can take care of myself.

But, in the midst of my ranting and crying and complaining, I've had to stop and remind myself that I should be happy that I have these fears and problems. So, here is an incomplete yet honest list of reasons I have to be happy.

1.) I'm happy I woke up this morning.

2.) I'm happy that I had food to eat and grape soda to drink.

3.) I'm happy I got to spend the entire day online, watching videos and blogging.

4.) I'm happy that I can apply for jobs online, in the comfort of my home, and not have to drive or walk around town to do it.

5.) I'm happy that I have loving parents and a boyfriend that care about me deeply.

6.) I'm happy that I have sight, vision and hearing.

7.) I'm happy that most of fears have never actually come true.

8.) I'm happy that I can list reasons to be happy.

These 8 things are not everything. Not even close. But I seriously get into these dark depressive moods that are hard to shake. I don't like letting it get this bad because it stops me from doing the important things that I should be doing, like LIVING.

What are you happy about?

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Just One Thing

Words.

I need them to form to make something valuable. Something concrete. The words don't come. Even when I call them, they don't come. I sit here, wondering, when will I make something that I can be proud of? Will I continue to add to the dreck in this world or can I create something wondrous?

I'm trying. Or, at least I think I'm trying. I think that I'm making huge strides because my laptop is powered on and I have a guide book. I think I'm making progress because my fingers are hitting keys and sentences are forming. 

That doesn't even make sense. What does that even mean? And how am I supposed to make anything at all when I cringe at the sight of my own work. I read something I wrote and I hate it. I look at something I made and despise its existence. What do I do with that?

I'm hoarding little pieces of genius everywhere. Scraps of pages with half a verse of song and notebooks with half written stories. I don't finish anything. Afraid to complete the work because I think all my effort will be in vain. 

The alternative then is to never finish anything. Instead of working hard, I'm hardly working. Instead of completing an imperfect piece of art, I'm collecting half-finished nothings. 

I just want to finish one thing. I just want to get one thing done -- that's all. If I finish one thing, maybe that will inspire something inside me to get it all done. I just want to complete one thing before I perish. I don't need permission or a grade or credit. I just need the time and the space to finish. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

I Love Coffee - Original Song [Free Download on SoundCloud]

LYRICS: I LOVE COFFEE
Witten by: Monica Louise Bryant

Free Download HERE!

You can drink the wine
You can drink the beer
You can drink the soda, just don't bring it over here
Drink your V8, though you know its too saucy
I could drink one too, but I'd rather have coffee

I love coffee, and by the way
I drink it all night and I drink it all day
I got superhuman powers, I can stay awake
Give it to me boiling hot or make it cold like rain

I met a guy, he's a Barista
and he drinks a macchiato with his medium pizza
He works all day making drinks for strangers
but I get mine free because, "I'm the danger!"

I love coffee, hear me say
I make it myself and I have it my way
I don't consider consequences when I drink my brew
because I need all that caffeine to keep me up at school

So whether you're in college or a teacher or a mom
A doctor or a lawyer or a techie or a slob
A hipster, poet, waitress or you're homeless in the street
We all enjoy our coffee and we drink before we eat

Come on!

I love coffee, yes indeed
I need at least one before you talk to me
I have to drink a whole pot before I do my thang
Call me crazy if you want, but I drink to stay sane

I love coffee (4x)

I love coffee, more than life
I fell in love with it and I made it my wife
It doesn't matter if its instant or ground from beans
When I take that first sip I can achieve my dreams

So whether you're a pilot or a bookie or a dad
A military person or a high school grad
American, Armenian, Canadian or Jew
We all love coffee and it loves us too

Come on!

Courtesy of Google image search :)

Yes, I love coffee so much that I wrote a song about it. The lyrics are all mine but I got the audio track from YouTube. You can check out royalty free audio tracks and sound effects here

The track I used is called "Mob Battle" by Silent Partner. They have some really awesome tracks you can download and use for free!

I hope you guys like my song! Stay tuned! In the coming weeks I'm going to upload a music video for "I Love Coffee." I'm working really hard to brainstorm some really cool and fun ideas. Subscribe to my channel (here) for more awesome content today! I make new videos every week!



Sunday, August 10, 2014

I Hate College

Lately, nothing stresses me out more than thinking about life after college. Lots of big questions have found a place to dwell inside my head and drive me crazy.

Where am I going to work?

Where am I going to live?

How am I going to pay back my student loans?

Will I be happy?

And of course, being as proactive as I am, I took steps to remedy this now before it becomes a problem. 

I'm a theatre major. I want to act and write. I went auditions and was told I can't act because I'm too busy with college...as if they knew my life!

If I took the hours I spent watching Netflix last year alone and combined them, it was probably enough hours to have a part-time job. 

I may be many things...BUSY is NOT one of them.

I realized the issue is not me, its everyone else. Nobody likes you when you're in college.


Saturday, August 9, 2014

YouTube Tip - Make A Green Screen Out Of A Bed Sheet

Its nice, but not required!
Every time I watched videos on YouTube, I'd see amazing green screen and then immediately become discouraged. How was I supposed to make videos like that? I can't afford a green screen kit and I don't have a spare wall in my small apartment to paint green.

Through numerous trials and errors, John and I were able to come up with a cheap and effective way to construct a green screen using a king size bed sheet we bought at Walmart.

Things You'll Need:

1.) A green bed sheet. You can get yours anywhere or use one you already own, (This will work, even if the sheet is faded from washing or a duller green) I used the king size flat sheet sold at Walmart for $14.99. [Don't use a silk or shiny sheet, use cotton!]
 2.) Screw Mounts. I only have four because I lost the rest and was too cheap to get more. You can get a pack of six at Walmart for $9.22. They might be cheaper at Home Depot. Spend the least amount possible. You will need five for this project!
3.) Small binder clips. Most people have these lying around but if you don't, they're pretty cheap. You'll need a binder clip for each hook; a total of five. I find that the smaller ones give a tighter hold than the larger ones.
4.) A piece of yarn or rope cut a little shorter than the length of your sheet.
5.) Thumb-tacks.

6.) Tape.

7.) Most importantly, you'll need a friend (or parent) to help you!

STEPS:

1.) Find a place where your sheet can hang with enough space around it to film. I hang mine against the closet.

2.) Fold the string in half two times and stick a piece of tape around every bend and also both ends. This will help you space the hooks equally along the line.

3.) Tack the yarn onto the ceiling in the three spaces where the tape is and both ends. It will serve as a guide to keep your hooks straight. You may have to stand on a stool so be careful and ask for help!

4.) Place a screw hook facing outward in front of each piece of tape on the string plus both ends.

5.) Hang a binder clip from each hook. You're almost done!

6.) Now, clip the sheet evenly into the binder clips from the thickest side.
See how mine sags in the center? I need a fifth clip!
You're done! You have a cheap green screen that is easy to assemble and put away when you're done!

TIPS:

*If you're looking to get full body shots, you get a smaller sheet to use on the floor. Just place one end under the hanging sheet and roll it out. 

*Lighting and distance in key! Try to film with as much space between the sheet and your subject as possible. Also, light the sheet evenly and back-light your subject to keep them from having a green halo in post.

*If you're finding that your sheet just isn't green enough, you can always make it greener in post using the color settings in your editing software. Dress your subject in red to make this process easier.

Here is my latest video shot using this green screen set-up.

I really hope this technique helps. I realize that it might not work for everyone; if you have really high ceilings or ceilings made from an impenetrable material it might be impossible. Let me know if you've discovered ways to get around this. 

If you have any suggestions, questions or tips, just leave a comment below. 

Thank you, and happy green screening!


Monday, July 28, 2014

Why Don't You Vlog About Your Life?

The other day someone asked me, "Why don't you vlog about your life?"

I paused because...my life is personal. And besides, who wants to hear me talk about my life?

In addition to that, should I put my personal life on display for all to see? We know all too well that once something reaches the infinite corners of the Internet, it cannot be erased, denied or forgotten.

Putting those thoughts aside, I will say that my life off camera can be tumultuous one, just like anyone else. I suffer from stints of depression ( like most people do) that don't just go away by faking a smile. I have to actively (and tirelessly) pull myself out of it (over and over again) and that's hard. Do people want to hear about that?

Do they want to watch a 3 to 5 minute video of me talking about how I make myself happy when I feel sad or how much I hate college? Do they want to hear me talk about what it's like to pursue your BA degree in your thirties???

Those are the things I would talk about. Now that I've typed them out, they don't seem so bad. Perhaps it would be nice to get a glimpse inside the real me. Perhaps I should offer something more on my channel than characters and parodies. I'm real and I appreciate others who are real. (And I actually DO watch other people's vlogs, provided they talk about REAL subjects and not just superficial things.)

Ok. I guess this is me saying, I'll give it a chance. Maybe this week, or next, look for an Honest Vlog on my channel ------> HERE.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Beth & Delilah Show

I've ventured into something new. Well, it's not exactly new. It's something I've been doing for a long time now but I recently decided to give it a real chance.

What is this thing I've decided to do? The Beth & Delilah Show.
 
I started making Delilah Shows way back in 2005. YouTube was a very new thing back then; so new that it would be another two years before I even heard of it.

I would record these little shows of my dolls walking and talking and insulting each other on Hi8 video tapes in my Sony camcorder. 

I showed the videos to everyone and people pretty much thought I was a weirdo (big shocker). I had fun and I didn't really want to stop.

When I got my first YouTube account in 2007, I uploaded Delilah Shows regularly. They didn't catch on because, who wants to watch talking dolls insult each other?

Eventually I had to take the videos down anyway because I was using music that I wasn't supposed to for the intros and outros. Back then, YouTube's archaic copyright system left me with a bunch of muted videos.

I got a new channel, made live action videos and moved on, but there was still a place in my heart that wanted to make Delilah Shows. I made a few videos and they were never really popular with people.

Last month I decided, I don't care if no one ever watches them. They make me happy. I've been told I should stop and that they're terrible, but I don't care. I'd rather make something that makes me happy. If you want to give The Beth & Delilah Show a chance. Go ahead!

Episode 1: Delilah gets therapy.

Episode 2: Beth & Delilah celebrate gay pride month.

Episode 3: Beth & Delilah have opposing viewpoints on doll equality.

Episode 4: Beth disappeared in a fit of anger but the show must go on...sort of.

Episode 5: Beth sets Delilah straight.

Episode 6 will be out July 24, 2014 at 6am PDT and you can click here to make sure you don't miss it. Beth & Delilah interview Optimus Prime!