Why I Stopped Self-Submitting to LA Casting and Backstage

Today is a day of liberation. I cancelled my subscriptions to Backstage and LA Casting.

But why? Don't you want to be an actress? Don't you want to find those opportunities that other people miss out on? Aren't you serious about your career?

Yes, I am serious. All the more reason to cancel those subscriptions that leave me at the mercy of whoever it is sitting on the other end of the line. My acting career will be not be destroyed or defined by how many auditions for low budget SAG projects I can procure. Nor will I subject myself to endless hours of sitting in front of the computer clicking away until I find something that "fits" me.

How do these sites benefit me? I have to pay $20 a month for a service that gives me access to acting gigs that pay nothing. My money doesn't guarantee me a job. It doesn't even guarantee me an audition. (Speaking of which, WHY AM I PAYING TO AUDITION? This is worse than gambling!)

I'm tired of scrolling through casting calls asking for real people. If you want "real people," get off LA Casting! It's a site for ACTORS. It's a site for people who want to play CHARACTERS. If you're looking for REAL PEOPLE, stand outside a Walmart!

I'm tired of of reading the same stagnant descriptions over and over again. It's always music videos, sexy girls, bikini models, nudity, reality TV and game shows. Do you want to be an audience member? You can sit in our audience but you have to be upscale with a hot body, 18 to look younger.

These are not acting jobs. These are people taking advantage of actors who are desperate for exposure; because we grow up in an industry that tells us we're worth nothing so we better say yes yes yes, no matter how demeaning the job!

Don't post a casting notice asking for people with special skills and abilities and you're paying nothing. Stop asking people to work long hours and have "good acting chops" when no one has ever heard of you or your company. Who do you think you are?

We, as actors, need to ban together and tell these sites and these people to go fuck themselves. 

Just because you're a new actor or a young actor doesn't mean you don't deserve respect and the chance to do real work. Sitting in an audience for ten hours or dancing next to some rapper wearing a bikini by the pool is not acting. 

I'm going to finish college and continue to do my own thing. That's the only thing that has ever really worked for me anyway.

When You Don't Have A "Plan B"

A leap of faith

I did it. After all this time. All the waiting and hoping and praying. All the times I failed math and re-took it. All the times I cried and envied other people. I finally moved out of my parent's house to pursue my bachelor's degree in theatre. Finally.

But why do I feel so weird? It's not culture shock because LA has the same shit that Banning and Beaumont had...but there's some other nagging feeling. I walked to the 99 cent store with John looking for hot chocolate when I realized what's been bothering me the last 14 days:

I don't have a "Plan B."

But that's okay, right? Having a backup plan is for pussies, right? If you're going to do something, do it! Like Dr. Frank-N-Furter says, "Don't dream it. Be it."

But those things are easier said than done. I'm a 100 miles away from home, tens of thousands of dollars in debt and I'm hanging by a thread. Or at least, that's how it feels. 

I'm here to learn and create. I'm here to start a REAL career as a writer and actress. I want to do internships and meet as many people as I can so we can help each other achieve our goals. 

I know I'll make it if I just keep believing and working hard like I've been doing. That's how I got to where I am now. I kept working and I didn't give up no matter how bleak everything seemed.

I think another reason I feel weird about it is because it didn't come at a time where I was desperate for it. It came when the time was right. I was watching How to Lose Friends and Alienate People with John last night and a conversation Simon Pegg's character has with Megan Fox's struck me:

Sydney Young: What's it like to be famous?

Sophie Maes: Weird. It's happening so fast. It's like it has nothing to do with me. It's like I'm not even here.

It just struck me. As if...I was always going to transfer and move away from home whether I wanted to or not. Because I wanted it to happen, it did. 

I don't know, that's probably just my weirdo brain being weirdo. Whatever.

The point is, I'm here now. And in the famous words of RuPaul, "Don't fuck it up!"